Putting Choices In Perspective

"You have nobody to blame but yourself". In this day and age, is that advice still considered wise counsel?

A small confession. I possess a bad habit that I particularly regret, yet it's a bad habit that I've never been able to shake: I tend to talk over people after I've asked them a question, stepping on their answer instead of being patient and polite enough to wait my turn to listen and learn.

It's a natural problem I have. As frustrating as it is to admit, it seems to be in my nature to behave this way.

An admission that leads to this observation: just because something comes naturally, that does not make it welcome, that does ennoble it as "good". Shouldn't it be a sign of maturity, that we can grow to recognize how much the ability to do something is in itself not the justification for actually doing it..? Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should... even if it's something that comes naturally to us.

If we're truly committed to survival through self-improvement, shouldn't we search for when and where it makes sense to place ourselves at odds with our own nature? Could we not say, that the most worthwhile self-improvement can most readily come to us when we are at war with nature?

What is the true result of our natural behavior; for any individual aspiring to a more righteous life, this would be one of the hardest answers to perceive, requiring as it does a full measure of honesty, humility, and patience... qualities that tend to come rather unnaturally to the human species.

Looking back over a mis-spent life, I can see now, with painful clarity, how so many of my natural habits have hurt me. Was this an insight that needed so much time to come into focus?

The honest answer is no. But for too many years, I was at war with reality instead of being at war with nature. The real reason for my finding myself in my present situation can be found... in my mirror: in the accumulation of habits I've nurtured, and in the ones I've denied myself.

Can this be one of the dividing lines between the conflicting worldviews imperfectly labeled "left" and "right"? Does being "on the right" mean that I am now at war with nature, as when I used to be "on the left" meant that I was at war with reality?

When someone allows themselves the false belief that bad habits should produce good results, what happens when reality contradicts them? They either look inward, towards the history of their behavior, to perceive which of their chosen reactions, which of their natural habits, deserves the blame. Through this insight we can come to see the need for a second nature, a renewal of ourselves through the adoption of more fruitful behavior.

Or: they may deflect their gaze outward, where the only conclusion remaining in sight is to look to fix the blame upon the habits and behaviors of others. They are then looking for a scapegoat, an excuse that will enable them to engage in a false conflict, rather than the necessary one to be waged against their own inner nature.

So much for honesty. So much for humility. So much for reality.

As we review our reactions to the circumstances that life has dealt us, as we trace a line to connect the results that have arisen from our choices, which direction does the search lead us, where do we find ourselves looking: to a destination within, or without?

When we find ourselves soaking wet, can it really be someone else's fault that we chose to take a long walk off a short pier..?

Tuesday Tides

I seem to have woken up on the cynical side of the bed this morning, my mood either due to the grey rainy day waiting outside or, more likely, because of some of the news drifting past us in the margins of bigger stories on a damp Tuesday morning.

Merry: 21st century objective journalism blurs the line between being an entreprising businessman and a hardened criminal, in this report on the hard times ahead for Somali pirates, as a combination of bad weather and capitalist outrage at being looted puts a crimp in this 35-year old's "merry life":

[Mohamed Said] worries that the foreign navies might make the pirates' business impossible.
"If dozens of warships remain in our waters, our work will be as futile as a chameleon trying to catch a fly," he said.
Lighting an imported Benson & Hedges cigarette and unwrapping a roll of leafy khat, a mild narcotic popular in the Horn of Africa, he says he is holding out for his share in a $1.7 million ransom being demanded for a hijacked German ship.
At small cafes on Eyl's dusty, unpaved streets, pirates are also swapping gossip about negotiations in progress for the release of a Dutch ship. The buccaneers want $2.5 million, but the owners have only offered $1.5 million so far.
"If they give me some cash I will clear my debts. You know khat is expensive here," he said, chewing on a twig from the bunch wrapped in banana leaves, then puffing on his cigarette.
...
"I wish this merry life would last forever. But I'm afraid that circumstances may force me to give up piracy completely."

Candid: A Croatian mayoral candidate is admired for his refreshing honesty as he runs a campaign openly promising to be corrupt while in office:

Voters have flocked to the campaign, which runs under the slogan "All for me, nothing for you". Josko Risa polled 27.89 per cent of the vote in the first round of voting on Sunday, placing him second. Croatian newspaper Slobodna Dalmacija reports that he will now face Mate Lasic, the current incumbent from the Croatian Democratic Union, in a run-off on May 31.
...
"Whoever is in power, we know that they steal. At least he is honest," commented Ivan Vjisnic, a Prolozac resident. "He has said that if things get better for him then they will get better for us."

Fun: Teacher who had sex with her 12-year old student now hosting "Hot for Teacher" night at a Seattle bar. Former student, now her husband, acts as DJ; all in the name of fun on a Saturday night:

Fuel's owner, Mike Morris, said he realizes having Letourneau host a "Hot Teacher" night could be touchy and might rub some people the wrong way. But the way he figures it, "Mary's done her time. She's served her sentence. They're now married; they have kids together."

"It's turned into sort of a love story," he says. "I realize it had a sick twist at the beginning, but they're both adults now. They're both married by the state of Washington. So, it's just go and have fun on a Saturday night - and if people are looking to have some fun, just come check us out."

...

"It was sort of a joke but sort of real, and it was just something that we thought was a good name for it, and of course we got Mary's permission to do it," he says. "She's really trying to kick-start his career."

...

The couple first met when Fualaau was in the second grade. Their relationship became sexual when he was 12 and she was a 34-year-old married mother of four, a teacher at a suburban elementary school.

Wednesday's World

Some days we just feel small. Then we're consoled with the reminder that, after all, it's a small world. Here are a few of its stories lurking in the margins of a wet Wednesday morning.

Alchemy: Here's a new documentary for Disney fans like me, as well as students of human nature, to be on the lookout for. It's "The Boys: the Sherman Brothers Story", covering the famous songwriting duo whose delightful tunes enhance so many later Disney films, like Mary Poppins and The Jungle Book, as well as musical compositions for Disney projects like the "It's A Small World (After All)" theme park ride. As it often seems to be, the story-behind-the-story of their collaboration is far more melodramatic than anything on-screen in the films they worked on. Apparently Robert and Richard Sherman were creative partners for six long decades despite hating each other with a passion:

[T]he friction that drove them apart fueled their creativity. It was a case of can't stand him/can't have a career without him. But what a career. Starting out as starving artists, they wound up under long-term contract at Disney.

Produced and directed by the songwriters' sons, Gregory V. Sherman and Jeffrey C. Sherman, as both a tribute to their fathers and a vehicle for possible detente, the film skirts the edges of psychological inquiry but doesn't probe too deeply. The origin of the estrangement is hinted at but remains a mystery.

The families, who grew up without knowing each other, are in the dark, and neither elder Sherman sheds much light on the subject. Although the rift is a source of pain and bafflement for both of them, their lack of insight is a product of a generation allergic to insight and their partnership a testament to the unknowable nature of creative chemistry.

Remarkably, a young 19-year old Robert Sherman was among the first US troops to liberate the Dachau concentration camp in the last days of the European chapter of World War II. Despite seeing what he saw there -- or maybe because of seeing what he saw at such a young age -- the man went on to co-create such life-affirming music, touching the lives of God knows how many people.

Honesty: A sudden gust of wind blew a landlord's $10,300 out of his bag and all over the street. As he scrambled to collect his money, he shouted for help... and got it:

"There were women in dresses and everything. They were down underneath vehicles picking up the money. Young people were picking up the money and they were just saying, 'Whose money is this?' and bringing it to me and handing it to me. So it was just amazing that they were able to do that. I'm very happy and very grateful."

When Walker got to the bank he had $10,300, meaning all of the money was returned.

Gratitude: In March, two young brothers were saved from their burning North Carolina home through the courage and tenacity of four volunteer firefighters. This week the heroes are being honored for their bravery in the line of duty, coinciding with the rescued 7 and 11-year olds being able to return home from the hospital... amazing, since when they were first brought in, initial fears were that they would not live through the night. A local news station offers a touching video account:

"One of the firefighters vividly recalls the frightening scene.
'You can't see two inches in front of your face. If you ain’t scared, something is wrong with you,' said James Cannette, a volunteer who was the first to go in.
'It's unreal, like somebody was pulling me to them. I walked straight to them, straight to the kids.'
...
Cannette says the heroism was a group effort.
'I appreciate them honoring me, it's nice, but everybody needs to realize it was the whole department that saved them two kids’ lives.'

The grateful mother gets the last word, revealing that sometimes sincere gratitude is sufficient reward for good deeds done:

'I probably can't thank them enough but I'm going to thank them all I can for saving my kids.'