OK, so I made the whole thing up. Here's the real world:
The cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe which has left hundreds dead was caused by the UK, an ally of Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe has said.
Information Minister Sikhanyiso Ndlovu described the outbreak as a "genocidal onslaught on the people of Zimbabwe by the British".
On Thursday, Mr Mugabe said the spread of cholera had been halted.
But aid workers warned that the situation was worsening and the outbreak could last for months.
In his comments to media in Harare, Mr Ndlovu likened the appearance of cholera in Zimbabwe to a "serious biological chemical weapon" used by the British.
There's more if you care to bother. And why not? It's his narrative, man.