Live From Glasgow: It's the Itchy and Scratchy Show.

Two men rammed a burning truck into the aeroport at Glasgow in an attempt to commit mass-murder. They were Muslims. For a number of people opining on the Internet this is like watching television. They see it from a distance, an emotional and intellectual distance, and feel they should tell the rest of us the Truth of the exercise, that it's all part of a scenario begun by a grand conspiracy mastered by the secret elite of oil barons and spies from the West. People whose deepest emotions are sentimental tell us they feel the pain of others. And those same tell us they grasp the cosmic significance of the Gnostic martyrdom at play in Glasgow, that it's a protest against poverty imposed by the robber-barons of Global Capitalism. I laugh-- at this point. It leads me to wonder about what the "real truth" is.

We have to wonder what it is that possesses a number of people to grow beards and obsess over the ravings of a seventh century lunatic warlord from the end of nowhere to the point they kill others and themselves in a state of rapture. But even more bizarre is that folks in the West don't seem to be too upset about it. Letters to the editor suggest it's a conspiracy by Mossad/MI5/CIA types to make things possible for the new Brit. p.m. to further frighten voters into giving up their civil liberties so the oil companies can wring more money out of the population. And a further mystery is that the average person will listen to some arsehole like that without losing his temper and hitting the speaker as he would if one were to shout filth in a church. Isn't there any limit to the things people will endure? I guess not. Welcome to the live version of the Itchy and Scatchy Show.

"Eyewitness Jackie Kennedy, 46, described how she watched one of the occupants of the car douse himself in petrol and set himself alight.

"He had a big smirk on his face. He lifted up what appeared to be a five-litre drum, which I think had petrol in it, and set himself on fire. His clothes were melting in front of my very eyes.

"The police tried to pounce on him but he fought back and was struggling with them. It was only when a member of the public punched him in the face that the police managed to restrain him. The police were trying to spray CS gas in his face but it was not working."

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article2010062.ece
Well, the beard is itchy, and the burning himself up has to be scratchy, so I'd say that's a fine headline.

Graphic from: 1. Burning Love
Summary: Itchy shoots Scratchy, who is relaxing on a hammock, with a flaming arrow.
Episode: Krusty Gets Busted (112/7G12)
DVD Location: Season 1/Disc 2 (2:48 - 3:04)
krustofski.com

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