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Progressive Future For America: Leave It To Professionals
By Red Square
1/8/2007, 6:49 pm
 | In 2007 the honor of New York's first-baby-of-the-year is being disputed between Odunayo Muhammed born of recent Nigerian immigrants, and Yuki Lin born of recent Chinese immigrants. Minutes after their birth the babies are already doing the jobs that Americans won't take. That's because this generation of Americans is fleeing from making babies, as if childbearing equates with cancerous tumors or internal parasites. They believe that just like everything else in their lives, fetuses should be left to professionals. |
Decades ago their parents had allowed to convince themselves that raising children should also be left to professionals. The resulting generation of professionally-raised Americans is now taking it a step further, believing that the very process of creating children should be left to professionals as well. Since professionals notably don't marry or have children, this leaves nobody but pets, household appliances, and asserted domestic animals one finds in chicken coops and cattle corrals to marry if anyone marries at all. That, and also immigrants - who in lieu of qualified specialists had been raised by incompetent amateurs, also known as parents.
Other notable areas of American lives delegated to professionals include mass media, academia, and trivial entertainment industries that leave no room for amateurish excuses for capitalism, individualism, free markets, and personal responsibility. Many agree that everything we see in the papers, on the TV and movie screens, or hear in lecture halls, must be filtered, selected, and double-checked for compliance with the formula developed by expert gurus - lest the audiences go astray and develop such inept and unscientific notions as family, tradition, and self-reliance, which might lead them to absorb amateurish opinions offered by unprofessional bloggers or worse.
If i could stand to swallow my mouthwash I'd be drunk all the time. Ah, you might not realise it but they asked for my identification papers when I bought a bottle of it recently. Seems someone has been selling it to drunks in the alley, and the store was getting heat for it. Not very funny, is it?
2 comments:
Ahh, but the race to build the artificial womb is on, my dear man. Just think, before long mothers will be able to have as many babes they want, without all the fuss and bother, and all under perfectly controlled conditions (no chaotic hormone baths) to insure nothing goes wrong (that can't be instantly detected, detached, and... responsibly recycled...) and everything you may wish - like babies that don't need to sleep days or be rocked to sleep - insured. Soon'll be the day when the progressive bobos rise again as the world-thrusting class that inherits the future. Have no fear, Gaia Super-Seded Wombs Inc. is here (and we're looking for investors - as soon as we get our first government contract, it'll be a sure thing! Trust me. And men, you'll be able to go back to smoking cigars with the lads when your young'uns arrive; no more of this new age hippy dippy delivery room "consummation" of the sexual act stuff... And moms, it's for you too: all the Cubans and Cuba Libres you desire, guilt free!)
As soon as I get a bit of time I should put up a piece on woody Allen's movie Sleeper" set in the dysfunctional future that seems too close to our own but is still funny even if our present is less so.
yeah, that's it. Woody Allen for president, a middle-aged man married to his teenaged adopted daughter. Makes sense to me.
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