Monday, March 24, 2008

Dutch Prime Minister Releases New Netherlands Constitution

Your Dutch uncle is still full of good advice.

Guide on "How to Commit Suicide" being Published

The Foundation for Research for Careful Suicide (WOZZ) will be selling a book on various ways a person can end his life. One of the authors, psychiatrist Boudewijn Chabot, said that from sociological research he did for his doctorate, he learned that in the Netherlands about 4,400 people end their lives annually after discussions with family and friends.

One difference between Americans and Dutch is that Americans tell their family members to go fuck-off, and they make new friends when either or both groups hate them so much they feel they should kill themselves. Not so, apparently, with the Dutch. After dinner with the family, the Dutch are so mortified by the lack of good feeling from Mom and Dad that they go off in the woods and shoot themselves. Well, hey, wouldn't it be easier to quit smoking pot, maybe think of getting a job outside the sex-with-animals movie business? You know, live like a normal and sort of decent person for a while and see what it's like?

But of course, I know nothing. Leave it to the Dutch to keep us up-to-date on cool things of essence:

Politeness an Asset When Requesting Euthanasia

Doctors at three Dutch hospitals have published ten guidelines for people with a death wish asking for euthanasia. They advise them to be polite toward their doctors, to avoid giving the impression that they still enjoy anything in life and not to act depressed. The doctors write that "the patient who follows these rules increases the chances that his request for euthanasia will be accepted."

I feel like such a hick. All this time I thought being happy and living as though I didn't want to quit was a good thing-- even when it's a terrible thing to have to suffer through yet another family dinner. Hmm, to be or not to be? That is the question for the European Union to decide for us all.

In light of all this I now understand why the Europeans are so often found chanting "Death to America. Death to Israel." It's because they like us so much, and they want us to be as suicidal and death-obsessed as they. Gee, what are family and friends for if not a quiet dinner and a "please pass the arsenic."?

And congrat.s on the new constitution.

This time I guess I mean it:

Yalla, bye.

Cross posted at No Dhimmitude.

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